…Just a milkshake away. I was having the perfect day until my chick fil gay shake exploded into shrapnel on the floor of the garage. Instantly and for every moment of the 27 minutes that have elapsed have been full of self-loathing, suicidal anger and screaming. That milkshake was so fucking good and I purposely put it down becauseI didn’t want to drink the whole thing. The worst part is I wqas thinking of the last time I got a milkshake that good, nilla wafer also from chick fil a. Also met the fate of a blown out styrofoam rump in a driveway. I’m depressed. At least no one will ever know how I cried major tears over a milkshake before eating some off the ground… That secret will stay inside me forever.

I’ve had a lot of what Oprah used to call “A-Ha! Moments”. Those moments where you realize something and in your head that “ahhh!!!’ sound made by a chorus of Angels. Unless you’re me… my A-Ha moments come so late after the time where I should have realized what’s going on that it’s more of a “Ah-Shit!” moment because I’ve just realized that shit is bad and why… and usually it’s not as bad as whatever I have to do to fix it. Like Monday when I realized why I’ve been getting sweating spells, feeling very weak and fatigued all the time and sort of retarded in the head. I am so forgetful and I am always having a few days where I cannot get out of bed. I said ro myself “why does it feel like I’m dying all the time? I’m sick… but with what? Well, it was June 6th when I went to Urgent Care, day after my birthday (and my wonderful intern Rene took me cuz I was too sick to drive)That Dr said I am very sick with some mystery infection and then I just got better for a minute but now I have more of the same symptoms….  The abscess tooth that needs a root canal in my mouth and the antiobiotics in my purse…ah shit!”

So now I sit here with a sore jaw, inflamed right side of my face and that same deathy feeling I’ve come to know as normal while trying not to cry for that shake I am so sorry to the 2 people with outstanding Grab Bag mailings that need to be done as well as announcing the winner(s) of the contest. I try not to start shit I can’t finish but I apparently can’t finish being sick. I hope the quality and extra item will make up for the wait. I’m excited for what’s to come on the music and crafting front. I don’t wanna blow it so I guess try to stick it out and you’ll be rewarded.